MUNCIE, IN — Area players report that ever since Evan Versandi visited the Muncie Renaissance Faire on June 16, 2018, all RPG sessions with Versandi as GM have prominently featured a sword, ocarina, and/or crystal ball. “I love props as much as the next player,” says group member Melinda Fentner, “but it seems Evan’s going a bit overboard. I mean, I can almost believe the only trainers in town all specialize in swords. But why is the only thing of note in the Dungeon of the Volcanic Tyrant a crystal ball . . . even after all the earthquakes? And how, exactly, does a dragon play the ocarina?”
Fellow gamer Michael Milbrooke agrees. “He’s been using them in all our games. Like, when we encountered that zombie in the post-apocalyptic setting, it had a sword for some reason. And in the Starblood Champions campaign, why was the Galactic Overlord transporting the secret plans in a glass orb? Don’t they have thumb drives? And take a wild guess what instrument the Mafia daughter played.”
This newfound focus on props is not entirely without benefits. “Riddles have gotten really easy,” explains Fentner. “‘Would that I were as mighty as a pen’? Grab the sword. And the ‘holy instrument’ one was obviously an ocarina, even though there are lots of instruments with holes.”
At press time, Versandi was reported to express interest in attending this year’s Renaissance Faire, asking his players if he thought the Vampire Prefect would be more likely to drink out of a pewter goblet or smoke using a lighter with the infinity symbol engraved on it.