BERKELEY, CA — Researchers at the Institute of Consumer Data have concluded that almost half of all crowdfunded game projects provide less satisfaction to customers than simply destroying an equivalent amount of money.
“These findings have held true in all aspects of the gaming industry,” said Dr. Caroline Manisk, who spearheaded the research. “In nearly a majority of all game-related projects — card games, board games, RPGs — customers would have felt more satisfaction if they had simply taken the money they were going to spend and instead destroyed it in some spectacular fashion.”
The data proved conclusive across a variety of destructive methods. “For every $20 spent on crowdfunding sites, most consumers would have been better served by parting with that money in some other way, whether shredding 20 one-dollar bills or folding and throwing two $10 paper airplanes into a local zoo’s tiger exhibit. Even writing a check made out to Cash for an equivalent amount and throwing it into a mall’s food court provided greater satisfaction than the majority of crowdfunded games.”
Game consumer Wallace Thompson agrees. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my copy of [party game] Winterjection. And, in the grand scheme of things, $30 isn’t all that much. But my friend Maria [Farmiton] threw a bucket of 3,000 pennies into a nearby lake, and it was amazing. We’ve definitely talked about Penny-Bucket Day more than we’ve ever gotten to play Winterjection.“
Dr. Manisk was quick to note that a majority of games produced via crowdfunding efforts provided greater satisfaction than currency destruction, including almost all the ones you purchased, probably.